Tiger’s Fang
I was talking to a Frenchmen the other day and he said that he thought that French was a better language than English because it has so many subtle nuances that seemed to be missing from English. I replied that English is as full of subtle nuances as Paris is of arrogant Frenchmen and that he didn’t notice them because his English wasn’t as good as he thought it was. Anyway, this got me thinking about the Queen's own and one of my favourite parts of it, rhyming slang.
I was reminded of a comment from Corey on my old post about swearing. "Just getting a beer out of the Jayden Lesky" which expanded to, "Just getting a couple of Britney Spears out of the Jayden Lesky, then I'd better hit the Frog and Toad before the Trouble and Strife gets on the Dog and Bone.” Which, if it’s not clean means I’m getting a couple of beers out of the esky then I’d better get going before my darling wife calls me.
As Corey noted, the Jayden Lesky one is getting a little dated. The Britney one, while recent, is timeless and will be with us long after she overdoses on Vicodin, but the rest are as old as the hills. It’s time to update them.
Couple of my old favourites first:
Persian Rugs : Drugs
“Had big night on the Persians last night.”
Jack and Jills : Pills
“You just on the Brittneys or are there any Jack and Jills floating around?”
Harry Secombe : Capsicum
“Get some tommies, some ‘rotts and a couple of Harries”
Judy Dench : Stench
“What’s that God Awful Judy Dench?”
So I tried to think up some new ones and realised that it’s really hard. I kind of got one for Google.
Google : Ramen Noodle
“I thought he was famous but a quick look on the old ramen noodle turned up squat”
I guess they have to evolve rather than be forced. Anyone got any good ones?
I was reminded of a comment from Corey on my old post about swearing. "Just getting a beer out of the Jayden Lesky" which expanded to, "Just getting a couple of Britney Spears out of the Jayden Lesky, then I'd better hit the Frog and Toad before the Trouble and Strife gets on the Dog and Bone.” Which, if it’s not clean means I’m getting a couple of beers out of the esky then I’d better get going before my darling wife calls me.
As Corey noted, the Jayden Lesky one is getting a little dated. The Britney one, while recent, is timeless and will be with us long after she overdoses on Vicodin, but the rest are as old as the hills. It’s time to update them.
Couple of my old favourites first:
Persian Rugs : Drugs
“Had big night on the Persians last night.”
Jack and Jills : Pills
“You just on the Brittneys or are there any Jack and Jills floating around?”
Harry Secombe : Capsicum
“Get some tommies, some ‘rotts and a couple of Harries”
Judy Dench : Stench
“What’s that God Awful Judy Dench?”
So I tried to think up some new ones and realised that it’s really hard. I kind of got one for Google.
Google : Ramen Noodle
“I thought he was famous but a quick look on the old ramen noodle turned up squat”
I guess they have to evolve rather than be forced. Anyone got any good ones?
posted by Sam Cox at
17:30
12 Comments:
Haha typical frenchman. French is one of the easiest languages to learn!
I notice you've only pointed out the British slang, but how about Gansta slang! It provides so many possibilites. You can add izzle or the like to the end of just about any word and it is up to the listener to decipher them based on context! Examples:
Fo shizzle ma nizzle : Certainly my good man.
Just chillin in da hizzie : Just resting at my place.
Wizzle yizzle lizzle a sizzle of tizzle? : Would you like a cup of tea?
And don't even get me started on the brand of english the Jamaican's in GTA IV are talking. I had to turn on subtitles and I still don't understand them most of time.
But as for the good ol' Queens Englizzle, the only one I could come up with is:
I'm just putting on my shoes and sam cox (socks).
By
Michael, At
11 May 2008 18:33
How about:
"Dayum! Check out her Sigourney Weaver... it's building a dam"
By
Anonymous, At
11 May 2008 18:41
Nice pizzle Mizzle, fo shizzle.
Somewhat limited in its variants but this gangsta rap we're talking about so it should be enough.
BTW: GTA IV is banned in the UAE. Have to source it from ebay I think. Dammit.
By
Sam Cox, At
11 May 2008 19:17
A footy commentator colleague of mine uses these in causal conversation:
Mork and Mindy - windy
Sausage Roll - goal
Give and Take - steak
Septic tank - Yank (he never shortens it to Seppo)
Bah that's all I can recall at the present moment
By
Cockney rapscallion, At
12 May 2008 07:46
what about cc? or dit dit?
or banger?
By
Anonymous, At
12 May 2008 13:10
"So I did what any self-respecting Aussie male would do, and simply whipped out me Morning Star and Red Planet, so she could have a quick squizz!"
morning Star = Venus = penis
Red Planet = Mars = Arse
Yeah, you're right Sam, this is hard.
By
Tom Thoughttoohardaboutthisone, At
12 May 2008 18:09
Nice work people. Like the weaver reference.
I think you are making things harder for yourself there Tom. You're going two levels deep... but I'll pay Morning Star. If only they were reversed though.
Why an Aussie Male would be compelled to show both these artifacts to a woman is beyond me though.
By
Sam Cox, At
13 May 2008 05:26
"And in the dying minutes of this fantastic game Chalk and Tablet had kicked an unbelievable Sausage Roll despite the Mork and Mindy conditions. It's Give and Takes all round tonight!"
By
Sam Cox, At
13 May 2008 05:31
Crikey, Coxy you are channelling his calls
By
cockney rapscallion, At
13 May 2008 10:41
I don't think you can go past calling someone a James Blunt. Genius.
By
Anonymous, At
13 May 2008 13:28
The only real word for a James Blunt is a split arse. We all know that.
By
Rude Tom, At
13 May 2008 18:31
Dirty Beggars.
By
Sam Cox, At
13 May 2008 20:29
Post a Comment
<< Home